Copy and Paste 5

Original

Legal Jargon: All characters and likenesses are property of Tim Buckley

So, we’ve got a nice 2 strip 24 gag going. The one thing that really got to me about the writing here, is how much excessive dialogue was in the 1st panel. I know it’s a 24 reference and I’ve never even watched the damn show. Keep in mind this was 3 years after the show first debuted, so anyone who was going to get the reference already did and those who didn’t weren’t going to. Nothing short of a B^uckly box saying: “this is a 24 reference” is going to help them out.

I’m not even sure why that one thing bugged me so much, huh.

Moving on.

Original

Legal Jargon: All characters and likenesses are property of Tim Buckley

This is a dialogue gag done right (maybe). See, the lack of words conveys the joke just as well as filling a whole panel with wordswordswords about it. In fact take my not-at-all expert (I am not an expert) advice; you don’t need to write “this is the joke, do you get it?” dialogue. It’s insulting to do so. I know what the joke is, please, PLEASE, don’t take 3 panels telling me.

Original

Legal Jargon: All characters and likenesses are property of Tim Buckley

Aside from cleaning this up, I feel that it reads better if you read this strip before you read the previous one. I don’t know if Ethan Tim, was claiming he wrote everything way in advance then (like he does now) but, in this strip the reader says to himself “hey, what’s that box all about?” and in the previous strip Zeke says the same thing. If Tim, Ethan, Tim was a competent writer he should have noticed that and changed up the order so he could build some suspension about that danged mystery box.

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~ by Tornadic on March 3, 2010.

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